Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Sms


 It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.



At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage

The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.

Love waits for one thing, the right moment.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.

You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine.

We can not do great things. We can only do little things with great love.

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

My heart smiled when you kissed my lips. What a sweet surprise.

That it shall never come again is what makes life so sweet.

The truth is that life is delicious, horrible, charming, frightful, sweet, bitter, and that is everything.

Patience is bitter, but it bears sweet fruit.

It is terrible to be alone, and it is terrible to be in love, but one is cheaper than the other.

A man cannot reason with the woman he loves: he cares about her too much.

Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

There are some errors so sweet that we repent them only to bring them to memory.

Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.

Love means never having to say you are sorry.

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun.

Love is the compass of life.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

 For toothpaste ad they show teeth
For hair oil they show hair
For face cream they show face
But for Whisper & Condoms  they r not showing anything , that's
cheating.
Jaago Grahak Jaago

---------------------------

Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho,
and

Raat bhar sone na de


----------------------------

Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta ?
Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga
ke  baithoon?

----------------------------

A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed, 200 for wrongside entry
and

Rs 500 for no helmet

----------------------------


Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi
bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain   (superb)

----------------------------

Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne us se 3-4 thappad lagaye

Gabbar's Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KTNE AADMI THE...

-----------------------------

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband
sent  telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed! (superb)

-----------------------------

Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti bhi khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha hi
hai


-----------------------------

A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja

-----------------------------

Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I'm dropping to
Airport  today
Lady: But I'm not pregnant
Driver: But we hvn't reached airport yet



-----------------------------


Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasne
lagi  Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga


-----------------------------

Why is golf called a wrong game?
Coz u hold a stick n put the ball in the hole instead of holding the
ball  n  putting the stick in the hole.


 Ladies hostel caught Fire. It took 1 hour to bring the fire under control
and another 3 hours to bring the firemen under control.

---------------------

Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to
come in your mind?
Husband: that you are a lesbian.

---------------------

Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S ???
Because the people started licking the wrong side!

---------------------

Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was afternoon meal & left leg
evening meal what would you prefer?
Boyfriend: Eating between meals !!!!

---------------------

Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were rich, Rich men wish they
were handsome, Bachelors wish they were married & Married men wish they were
Dead!

---------------------

How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract her clothes, divide her
legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't
multiply!

---------------------

Lady : "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma'am ! you may select one from
our range that is displayed on that wall"
Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one"
Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher";

---------------------

A divorced Couple were contesting for possession of the child. The mother
said: "I gave birth to him - he's mine" The father said: "I put a coin in
the pepsi machine and a can comes out - the pepsi belongs to me! not to the
machine !!"

---------------------

A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy says 'thanks for the warning'

---------------------

A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?" He replied:
"Depends, If I Can find a Phone"

---------------------

Definition of a Gynecologist: Someone who looks for problems where others
look for pleasure!!!

---------------------

Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?'
"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'



For toothpaste ad they show teeth
For hair oil they show hair
For face cream they show face
But for Whisper & Condoms  they r not showing anything , that's
cheating.
Jaago Grahak Jaago

---------------------------

Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho,
and

Raat bhar sone na de


----------------------------

Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta ?
Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga
ke  baithoon?

----------------------------

A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed, 200 for wrongside entry
and

Rs 500 for no helmet

----------------------------


Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi
bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain   (superb)

----------------------------

Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne us se 3-4 thappad lagaye

Gabbar's Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KTNE AADMI THE...

-----------------------------

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband
sent  telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed! (superb)

-----------------------------

Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti bhi khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha hi
hai


-----------------------------

A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja

-----------------------------

Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I'm dropping to
Airport  today
Lady: But I'm not pregnant
Driver: But we hvn't reached airport yet



-----------------------------


Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasne
lagi  Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga


-----------------------------

Why is golf called a wrong game?
Coz u hold a stick n put the ball in the hole instead of holding the
ball  n  putting the stick in the hole.



 -----------------------
Ladies hostel caught Fire. It took 1 hour to bring the fire under control
and another 3 hours to bring the firemen under control.

---------------------

Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to
come in your mind?
Husband: that you are a lesbian.

---------------------

Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S ???
Because the people started licking the wrong side!

---------------------

Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was afternoon meal & left leg
evening meal what would you prefer?
Boyfriend: Eating between meals !!!!

---------------------

Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were rich, Rich men wish they
were handsome, Bachelors wish they were married & Married men wish they were
Dead!

---------------------

How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract her clothes, divide her
legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't
multiply!

---------------------

Lady : "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma'am ! you may select one from
our range that is displayed on that wall"
Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one"
Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher";

---------------------

A divorced Couple were contesting for possession of the child. The mother
said: "I gave birth to him - he's mine" The father said: "I put a coin in
the pepsi machine and a can comes out - the pepsi belongs to me! not to the
machine !!"

---------------------

A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy says 'thanks for the warning'

---------------------

A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?" He replied:
"Depends, If I Can find a Phone"

---------------------

Definition of a Gynecologist: Someone who looks for problems where others
look for pleasure!!!

---------------------

Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?'
"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'
 ---------------------

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.

A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!



How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!

Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?



Telling a Lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.

New Examination Patttern in India (Revised):
General Students: Answer All questions
OBC: Write Any One question
SC: Only read questions
ST: Thanks for coming.
Cheers to Reservation



It’s wrong that Alcohol makes u fat... It doesn't! It actually makes u LEAN... against bars, poles, walls, friends & strangers! Cheers!

Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela beta dudh p k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.



Ek shrabi sadhu se takra gaya. Sadhu: Oh murkh, mein tuje shrap deta hoon…
Sharabi: Ruko, me glass leke ata hoon.

How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!



Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye.

Ma: Beta ladoo Khayega?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Chocolate?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Khana?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Marjana apne peo te gaya hai, sirf jutiyan hi khayega.
Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB

(hint-

it should be 5)



Read caps word reversely.
(Category: Fool SMS   Language: English   Characters: 109)
________________________________________

Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?

Open the zip!

Enter your hands in between your zip..

take out your...


book from your bag and study..  
(Category: Fool SMS   Language: English   Characters: 160)
________________________________________

U will be a ROSE for all TREES
U will be a SMILE
for all FACES
U will be WATER FALLS for all HILLS
&
U will be a BROHTER
for all CUTE GIRLS .

________________________________________

Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur kyo na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai

________________________________________

When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u 4rm darkness &
after if u pray &ur still in darkness
, pls pay ur
ELECTRICITY BILL  
________________________________________

All ways keep your LOVER'S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...  

________________________________________

If people says you are crazy, be patiend.
if they say you are monkey, relax. if they say you are stupid,be cool but if they say you are smart, Thapad maar sale ko.
(Category: Fool SMS   Language: Hindi   Characters: 165)
________________________________________

I am sorry yaar, aaj tak maine tujhe avoid kiya,kai bar tujhse bat nahi ki,tujhse hath nahi milaya,
Sorry yaar mujhe pata nahi tha ki “AIDS” chhune se nahi failta.

________________________________________

I wnt u to b wit me in a nice restaurant 2 hav CandleLight Dinner & say thos 3 sweet word 2 u.Pay The Bill  
________________________________________

The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......

Can I sell you?   



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